Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
