I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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