the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
