I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My penis needs a shock collar
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize