im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
