Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I am one with the molecules
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
