Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize