oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Randomize
