she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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