tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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