She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
