i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
