There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
