just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
