Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
