How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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