Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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