I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
