Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize