I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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