all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize