so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
