he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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