I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
