Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Sober January is a disaster.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
