Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
