i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
