u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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