I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
