At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
