i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
