I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
