i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i believe in u and ur pee
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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