Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
