I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm at about main and main street
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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