my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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