Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
we're making bets on your personal life
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Randomize
