Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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