It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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