john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
