Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize