I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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