Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
