i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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