erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
