Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
