I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
