So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize