The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
