this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
