i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
