"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
