Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize