so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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