I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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