i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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