Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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