i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
