Are we in a gay sports bar?
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
