I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize